Frenetic Fitness

fre·net·ic /frəˈnetɪk/ done very fast and with a lot of energy, often by someone who is in a hurry.

Two Sumo Deadlift Highpulls, ah-ah-ah-ah

Counting. It’s simple right? It’s one of the very first things you learn to do. It’s so important that Sesame Street dedicated a character just for counting!

And despite hours and hours in front of the screen, counting with The Count, singing along to the pinball song and wishing I too was the seventh son of the Alligator King, I cannot count.

I routinely count on my fingers. I admit it. I’m a decently educated and moderately successful career person but if I have to do simple addition, it might involve taking off my shoes or tapping my fingers on a table.

A few days ago we had a workout that required me to do 10 reps of something, look at a clock that was counting up (as opposed to counting down of course), wait for exactly one minute which meant I had to remember what the second count was and THEN count the number of times I did the 10 reps of something. Of course I got totally lost. I don’t know how many I had done when I lost it, somewhere between 12 and 14 but my gym mates called shenanigans on my too high count and they were probably right. It might have been mathematically impossible to do 17 rep/wait cycles within 20 minutes but dammit that’s the count that was in my head and I pushed HARD in that 20 minutes. So what now? Do I hire someone to stand there and count for me since we have AstroTurf on our floor instead of a floor I can chalk out my number count on? Do I keep pennies in my pocket and drop one for every rep? Keeping paper around was suggested so I could just tear of a piece each time I needed a rep count. Some smart ass even remarked that there’s an App for that, but I don’t take my phone into the box. Ever. It’s too crowded and heavy stuff gets thrown around so I don’t think it’s a good idea. What’s my solution? I don’t know yet. Probably continue to either over shoot or under shoot my actual count when I get confused.

Today’s workout actually involved counting but it was a set number of one thing, then a set number of another thing, then a set of another thing,  repeat. It wasn’t hard to do that. I guess I can count but only if they make it simple for me. I need a little help with my counting or my gym mates will crown me Queen of the cheaters.


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