What Am I Missing?
I’m only a few weeks in to the long run training schedule I made for myself to get ready for the upcoming Ouachita Trail 50K. Today I needed to put in at least 16 miles and the weather forecast was totally different than it was on Monday when I did my last long run. The day would be sunny and unseasonably warm, the afternoon high was predicted to be in the mid 50s. I woke up early and as I waited for the sun to rise to meet me this morning, my sweet partner in crime was planning his own adventure, a long hilly mountain bike ride. I spent a few minutes wondering why in the world I was doing these long runs on the weekends instead of being able to just go do what I feel like doing that day when I get up. It’s not that I’d rather bike than run necessarily, it’s that I’ve removed my ability to choose which one I can do, there just isn’t enough time for it all. I can’t wait for the time to change so we can start riding after work again.
I used to have a running partner at work. We would run together almost every day of the week. She pressed me. She pushed me. She made me improve my pace. And then she moved away. Neither of us has been able to find another relationship like the one we had. I miss that camaraderie and my pace has fallen way off since she left.
Now that I’ve complained about missing out I get to say what I am NOT missing. I’m not missing out on having the time that I go to run all to myself. I enjoy the time spent in my own head. I enjoy the solitude of the trail. I like hearing the wind in the trees and watching the deer dart across the trail in front of me. I won’t say I enjoy the pain of trying to go a little farther…a little faster…a little harder but I do enjoy the mental games I have to play to do it. Really I guess I’m not missing much at all.